Intermezzo@Paul

Hi neighbour,


Immediately after we received your email, we went to your casa. I changed the sequence of your advise so I helped myself with drinking the 3 bottles of beer in 6 minutes. After that I had enough courage to open the freezer. It is nice to see what a mess a small can of coke can cause. Strangely, just one of the cans had exploded. So, I took the other one outside, with the idea that it could better explode outside then inside. I walked at the back of your casa and the can exploded, once exposed to the sun light. I lost 2 fingers, but I was happy to find them soon again. So problem solved, I thought. Unfortunately, the coke was splashed on your nice with washed wall (still without cracks). Not nice. I took the hose to clean it but the coke was already dried in. Still not nice, then I decided to take the ladder and a bucket of paint to repaint your nice white washed wall.

After painting of few squared centimetres, I reminded myself that I am afraid of heights. The result was there immediately. I almost fell off the ladder. As I was very afraid, I had one hand holding the ladder as tight as I could. The other hand was not available as the bucket of paint was attached to it. To prevent myself from falling, I made a quick decision: I let the bucket for what it was and grabbed the satellite dish.
It is obvious that due to gravity the bucket with all the paint fell down. During my effort to grab the satellite dish, I was so clumsy to kick the ladder with one of my feet. The ladder obviously fell down and in a strange way, it fell exactly on the top of your BBQ.
The BBQ is now a lot lower, as the top was destroyed completely. Good news is that it still can be used, if you do not mind the smoke getting into the kitchen window.

In the mean time my feet did not had a ladder any longer, and I was hanging with 2 hands on the satellite dish. Although we put very massive bolts in the wall to fit it, the bolts were slowly coming out of the wall, and, as expected, I fell down with the entire satellite dish. Fortunately, the disk is already white, so it did not matter that it fell into the white paint that was spread all out on the floor.
But I did not only fall with the dish, but also on the dish, so, it is not quite round any longer.
After falling on it I bounced back and landed on the floor, in the white paint.

As Dorus (our dog you know) was around also when I tried to paint the wall, he was lucky that the bucket with the paint did not fall on him. However, as the bucket was 99,9% full, he had a generous splash of paint on him. No problem, as water could have cleaned him.
But Dorus decided to show his new looks to Patricia, who was inside ironing the sheets. For some not-understandable reason she did the ironing in the corridor, next to your nice new bookshelf. When Dorus entered the casa, he not only created nice new paint-pattern on the floor, but scared Patricia as hell, seeing a with-washed monster coming to her very enthusiastic. Due to this negative excitement, Patricia stumbled over the power cord of the ironing device, with the result that the sheet she was working on, was set to fire. Fortunately, it was an old sheet, so relative damage.
Unfortunately, the flames of the sheet, reached your very nice new book shelf, and with the weather here being very dry, it was just a matter of seconds before the first books started to burn.

Ok, best thing to do then is to leave the casa as soon as you can. However, due to the fact that I was hanging on the satellite dish and finally fell down with it, and due to the fact that your satellite expert connected the cables so tight, the cable was thrown with the dish, thus pulling (yes, you will only believe it when you see it happen) the satellite receiver and everything else out of the TV-shelf, which would not be a big problem.
But the TV-set fell of also and the ray tube imploded. So: more mess, I am only telling you that, to explain that Patricia needed a few more seconds to get out of the casa. Fortunately, she succeeded in that with no further harm. Also Dorus, who was still around her to show off with his new white looks, managed to leave the house and he was so smart to dive into your nice and clean swimming pool.

I am not sure whether he did that to get rid of the paint or to search protection for the flames that spread from the book shelf to your green sofa and left arm chair. Fortunately, the dog was safe. Unfortunately, the water in your pool was white washed also.
Meanwhile somebody must have called 112, as the fire department of Alcaucin made their appearance on the stage. Great. Unfortunately, the road from Alcaucin was closed for road maintenance, so they could not come with the modern motorized fire-equipment.

In stead of that they had filled an old wine barrel of about 500 litres with water. But, once it was full of water, it was too heavy for the entire fire brigade to lift it on the cart, which was made available by one of the goat-farmers in the neighbourhood. So, more people had to be promoted to temporary fire-brigade-volunteers. (They were lucky that out friend Rafael Luque, the chocolate fire fireguard was also around).
Then a foreigner passed by and advised them to empty the barrel, put it on the cart and then fill it. After a few minutes discussion by mobile phone, they decided to do that.

However, as the cart was made available by a goat-farmer, there were only goats to pull the cart. That did not work, so after 20 minutes, somebody came with 2 mules. And there they went. Finally they arrived at the beginning of our famous road, but after a few meters of ascending they came to a halt as the mules were not strong enough to pull the cart any further. It was then decided to turn, but as the road is too small to turn a cart with a 500-liter barrel on it, and 2 mules in front of it, they decided to loosen the mules. Which they did.

Unfortunately, someone forgot to pull on the handbrake of the cart. So, the cart raced down and entered the main road. No problem, although at that moment the brand new fire truck of Canillas arrived and the cart slammed right into it. It is obvious that the barrel fell down and all water that was needed to save your casa was lost. During this typical Spanish folkloristic event, the fire was getting worse and worse.

Fortunately Patricia and I saved a lot of your furniture by dragging the stuff out and, inspired by Dorus, we threw everything in the pool to protect it from the heat. After that we started fighting the fire ourselves, with the garden hose.
But sometimes things go really wrong and Mr Murphy was around also, so it was not nice to see that the water pump stopped working after a while. Of course we called Antonio, but we could not reach him as it was siesta time.
I found the solution by changing the direction of the pool jets, so that they pointed towards the casa. The fire was out in a few minutes.

Then we started to clean up the mess, rebuild a few rooms, redecorated the walls, dried the furniture, cleaned and refilled the pool.
The casa is now ready for new guests,

HOWEVER, WOULD YOU PLEASE ASK YOUR BROTHER NOT TO PUT CANS OF COKE IN THE FREEZER AGAIN!